Top Ten True Confessions

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Momentarily: Editor’s note, Fall 2007

I have one question for today. Are the moments enough?

Driving in a rare moment by myself, I exult in the beauty of our hometown lake and the feel of the icy wind through my hair as all the windows are gloriously rolled down, free from their rigid duty of protecting little ones from the cold. My mind soars as I achieve the place of one complete thought, uninterrupted. The beauty of this vista fills me with a welling in my soul, and this unbidden thought springs forth: are the moments enough?

In the chaos and constant motion of my mommy life, very little time exists for extended swims in the ocean of my spirit. Rather, I find myself having to settle for small toe dips, just enough for me to know that the water is still there. My spirit cries out to connect with my God, to have moments that transcend the very earthy tedium of everyday. Sometimes they come, taking my breath away with their glory. The power of a well-placed call to a friend in pain, or the awareness of the preciousness that my little ones’ smiles bring. The fleeting moments of intimacy I share with my husband while the life we have gallops by. Each of these freezes my world for just a moment and I catch a glimpse of heaven. How my soul sings. Really. I can smile without compulsion. I can lift my head up and breathe the air as though it’s more than a simple reflex. I feel alive. So my question once again arises. Are these moments enough? Are the glimpses that I have into the vast universe from my small square of earth enough to connect me to an immortal God? Perhaps the question is answered in the asking, for it occurs to me that lives are made up of many moments, and my few moments weave into the grand vista of my life. Sara Baird, the talented photographer whose photo graces our cover this month, captures so beautifully the juxtaposition I often feel being a mother in my chaotic world. Often, any little minute to reflect and get present must be seized from the teeth of time or wrestled from sticky hands clutching at my dirty sweat pants.

In the pages of get born this month, “enough” rings as a resonant theme throughout. As mothers we often worry whether our brains will be sharp enough to hold onto memories too precious to be forgotten, whether our bodies will sustain the motherhood marathon starting with birth or adoption, sprinting through the school years, weathering sleepless nights stretched from infancy to Prom Night, and then joyously cradling grandbabies. We question, deeply and often, whether our raw emotions will buttress us when we say goodbye to our babies, whether in delight at the first day of school or college, or through tears when we realize they’re not going to call our home their home again. Perhaps most frightening of all, we worry that we will fail our children by letting go, saying no, or confronting the uncomfortable truth of our own humanity.

I’ll close with this: may you know deeply that you are enough for your children, regardless of their or your age. May the few fleeting moments that stick to the walls of your memory like pictures hanging on the fridge remind you that your presence alone is sufficient. May our collective cry rise up against so many unreasonable expectations and give strength to our tired bones, granting each of us strength and the unwavering belief that, indeed, we are enough.
Heather Janssen